When you and an ex have to work out child custody arrangements, things can get tense. Many parents go through negotiations to come up with the terms. Being able to work through those with as little stress as possible can not only make things easier for you, your spouse and your children.

It’s imperative that you focus solely on the children during this process. Their wellbeing has to be at the center of every decision you make. This isn’t always easy to do, especially when you start to think about the negative things that happened at the end of the marriage. Instead of thinking about what led to the relationship with your ex deteriorate, you need to look at how they interact with the children. 

It isn’t always easy to remember that a terrible spouse can be an attentive and loving parent. Watch how they interact with your children and how the kids talk about them. This might help to put your mind at ease about the parenting style they have. In most cases, it’s best for a child to have a relationship with both parents. 

As you go through everything, don’t badmouth your ex or bring up the things you think are their shortcomings in your marriage to the court. The exception to this is if your ex was abusive in a way that would impact the children. In that case, you can bring up the facts, but you must continue to focus on how the situation will put the children in harm’s way. 

You and your ex can work out terms for the parenting plan. Put these in writing and be sure that the document accurately reflects what you agreed to. This is what you’ll follow throughout the parenting relationship, so make certain that you have experienced assistance as you work through the agreement.