Do you ever feel like your spouse is obsessed with “keeping score” in your relationship?

For instance, maybe they said something hurtful to you, and you told them how it made you feel. You asked why they would do it. Suddenly, they had a whole list of things you had said to them over the past 10 years of your relationship.

The specifics of the situation may seem minor, like nothing that would ever end a marriage. Couples disagree. They say things they regret. It happens.

However, experts say that this mentality can actually mean that you are heading for divorce. It shows that the relationship is not healthy on a lot of different levels.

What you have to ask yourself is how much your spouse is really holding back. Do they remember every minor mistake you ever made? Do they have a mental list of all of the issues they have had in the relationship over the years?

If so, why are they holding grudges for so long? A marriage cannot last when people feel like they’re competing with each other or working against each other. If your spouse does not let things go, the cumulative effect of all of those offenses and issues can end the marriage. It may not take any big event to send the two of you to divorce court.

If you have seen these red flags in your marriage, or if your spouse has already talked about wanting a divorce, make sure you know exactly what legal steps you can take moving forward with this complex process.